so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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