i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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