Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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