those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
birth control should be required to get into college
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
