Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
