Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
