All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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