if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
