I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
