I heard we made out
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
