there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
