there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need water and some morals
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
