soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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