Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
