i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
