remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
