We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
