You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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