Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize