Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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