yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
