its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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