I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My cat gives me a boner
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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