the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
