she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
