If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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