we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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