My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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