if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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