Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
