How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
