Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
