I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
