I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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