How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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