I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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