he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
this just has baby written all over it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
