It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
