Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
