You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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