he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize