I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
sarcasm needs its own font
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
