Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
