The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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