I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
