You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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