I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
