Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
