WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Everclear isn't food dammit
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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