Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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