Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
