Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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