You're completely useless in the revolution.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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