woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
