I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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