I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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