if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
