Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
