there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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