You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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