this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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