What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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